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Is your ass too big or is the seat too small?

I have beef (yes, the same beef from the 90s) with the subway system. These seats are too damn small for the average tush. It’s a waste of time, energy, and material to create those humps to separate seatage. Not only is that environmentally unfriendly, but it’s also uncomfortable to have a seat hump in your crack.

I think they should alter the seat design. So here is my idea for the “subway seat of the future”. No hump. Flat across, like a bench. More people would be able to sit and no one would be ass raped by their seats again!

I should run for congress.