Archive for

Dear Rob Kardashian, don’t be insecure about your moobs.

Trying to keep the shirt from sticking to the moobs, eh?

You are still hot! Some people have moobs and a belly, some people don’t. It’s all good.

However, if you can’t help but be insecure about it, I have a few suggestions about that and some other things:

1. Change it! You don’t like it, so what are you going to do about it? Change it. Work those moobs off!

2. Put your moobs and soul into the Dancing With The Stars competition. Put your ALL into it. I notice that you seem a little shy and embarrassed about dancing. If you were not shy and embarrassed about having cameras all up and through your family’s lives, you shouldn’t be embarrassed now. Look silly. Work hard. Have fun. If you are going to do the damn thing, DO. THE. DAMN. THING.

3. Stop being unsure. You CAN do it. You have the chance to win, and you can do it if you really try. And along the way, the moobs will disappear. Win-win!

4. Stop being “a Kardashian“. You are Robert. All cameras are on you, now. Stop talking about them. Forget that they are in the audience. Forget they exist. Stop comparing yourself to the others. Sure, you did better than Kim. Now what? Now, do better than YOU! Make your own mark. Who knows where this can lead you, and it’s ALL yours.

5. Quit the reality show. Why? See number 4. You don’t seem to truly enjoy it. It is not your purpose. It’s not your dream. It has distracted you (and me on numerous occasions) from realizing and achieving personal dreams and goals. You don’t need it. I don’t need it. No one watching TV needs that show. We really don’t. There is nothing valuable and substantial coming from that show.

6. Accept the moobs. Accept the tummy. At least for now. They are there, they are queer, get used to it. They will be there tomorrow. And the next day. So stop sweating it and just do your thing, until you work them off. You’re still hot either way, and you have a great attitude lurking beneath the BS. Luckily, dancing is a perfect exercise, so as long as you commit to it you wont have to work in the boring gym. You get to dance around with Cheryl, every guy and gal’s dream. She’s friggin’ hot too. Hold her close. Dip her gently. Do whatever she tells you to do. Enjoy touching her body and dancing with her. As Ru Paul advises, “don’t fuck it up”.

I rarely ever watch the Kardashian show. From what I’ve seen, you’ve been searching for yourself. Sure dancing is hard to do, but if you like it, give yourself a chance to love it too. It may not be “your thing”, but it can definitely be “a thing”.

Good luck! I like you. Now, just give me a reason, besides being a kardashian or kim’s little brother, to vote for you. 🙂

September 2011


%d bloggers like this: