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I love doing laundry because it smells good. If changing diapers smelled as good, I would have 1/2 a baby…in a few years.


I love dryer sheets. Mostly because of the smell, but also because of all the practical uses for it. Check out this article that my friend sent me…which was written by someone else. Don’t shoot me. This is the glory of the internet… the possibility for laziness and people putting things in words faster than you…maybe not better…but definitely faster. Okay, fine…better. Thanks Joe Brown…by the way, any relation to Judge Joe Brown? Because that would make you that much cooler. What about Charlie Brown? (Don’t you hate when people think you are related to someone simply because you have the same last name? Better yet..the same first name?! How does that even make sense?)

Anyway…I appreciate how eco-friendly some of these tips are, especially if you are reusing dryer sheets. Don’t spend too much money on these things either. My experience have taught me that the dryer sheets from the dollar store are equal to major name brand dryer sheets. Tomatos…Tom-ah-tos.

14 Ways to Use Dryer Sheets that Have Nothing to Do with the Dryer

 Joe Brown — Dryer sheets. You probably think their utility ended with soft jeans and cozy socks. Nope! Turns out there’s a whole mess of other uses for ’em.

1. De-static your clothes.
Shirt sticking to your arms like a temporary tattoo? Wipe the shirt down with a dryer sheet, and enjoy the release.

2. Pick up pet hair from your furniture and clothes.

3. Ward off pests.
Fact: rats hate clean clothes. So do squirrels, raccoons, mice, and other rodents. Tuck dryer sheets under the doors of your basements, RVs, and garden sheds, to keep critters out.

4. Put one in a plastic bag and throw it in your suitcase.
Boom, that’s your travel laundry bag, and it’ll keep your socks from making your clean clothes smell like feet.

5. Scrub bugs off your windshield.
Dryer sheets do an incredible job of loosening stuck-on skeeters. Add water and use a dryer sheet like a sponge.

6. Put them in your shoes to keep them from stankin up the joint.

7. Bug repellent.
Wipe yourself down with a dryer sheet, and bugs won’t bite you as much. Probably not as good as actual bug spray, but they’ll do in a pinch.

8. Put them under the seats in your car to make it smell like clean clothes, not a synthetic pine forest.

9. Clean pots and pans.
Something in dryer sheets does a real number on caked-on pan-crud. After you’re done frying the crap out of that Spam sandwich, get the carbonized mystery meat off the bottom of your cookware by filling it with warm water, and adding a dryer sheet.

10. Put one at the bottom of your hamper to keep your dirty clothes from stinking up your room.

11. Clean paintbrushes.
Soak paintbrushes in dryer-sheet-steeped warm water, and latex paint will apparently peel right off.

12. Put one in your vacuum cleaner bag or canister to freshen your carpet.

13. Clean soap scum off your shower.
Use a dryer sheet and water instead of some nasty cleaning product to shine up your tiles.

14. POT-pourri.
Put one inside a paper towel tube, and blow your weed smoke through it to keep from alerting the mom/wife/kids/prison guard to your stonering.

In an effort to own my blog today, here is a personal tip: I also use dryer sheets as drawer fresheners. I pop on into each drawerer of my dresser to keep my clothes smelling fresh. Honestly, it doesn’t work as well as I wish it would…but it works. I love the smell of laundry…there should be a perfume called “Laundry“. I’d totally buy and probably be a lifelong customer. June Cleaver should be the spokesperson. Not Beyonce, or Sarah Jessica Parker, or Kim Kardashian…nor Usher. I don’t believe that those “hitches” do laundry for one second. If I were them, I probably wouldn’t. Actually…maybe I would. I love the smell and I am cheap. What? I am! Cheap = Economically-Friendly. That’s good stuff right there.

One of my favorite LAUNDROMAT themed songs…or perhaps, the ONLY laundromat themed songs. Gotta love R.Kelly, and in memory of Nivea. Who? Yeah….Nivea. Pay attention to the intro, and the lame tendencies of salty females. Then, ignore the intro, and pay attention to the…um…rest of the song. I’ve always wanted to play in the bubble-fuzz of an overflowing washing machine.

April 2011


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