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What do you do when Jehovah Witnesses knock on your door?

These Jehovah's Witnesses have one of the greatest Xmas albums of all time. See? Anything really IS possible!

Could he be the most beautiful Jehovah's Witness in the world?

I know that most people walk to the peephole, see two old ladies and just walk away from the door. Or they shout from behind it, “No thank you!”. Not me. If I am dressed already (like when they knock after 10am, wth is with the morning knockings?) I crack the door and hear them out. I agree with them, and I ask for a pamphlet. I just be nice. Why not? What difference does it make to me. That’s a hard duty…to go door to door in the Bronx, looking all out of place, trying to convince people to take time out of their life to listen to you ramble about religion.
It doesn’t matter that I think Jehovah Witnesses are crazy and raise crazy children (No offense to you JW’s out there). It doesn’t matter that I don’t even believe in “God” per se. And it doesn’t matter that the booklets always advise against things I love…lesbians, drinking, partying, education…What does matter at the end of the day is that I know I have been as kind as I possibly could, to everyone and in any way I could. That is what religion should really be about anyway right?

Me and JW Alice are on a first name basis now. She has knocked at least 3 times and caught me. This time I had Chicken Ceaser Salad breath. And now I have strange breath and a Watchtower pamphlet that is going to try to show me what it means to be a fundamentalist.

First section: Cellphones…Nature made it first.
I am going to have to say that actually…man did it. I have never seen a cellphone sprout from the garden.



March 2010


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